Deborah Blum

July 30, 1994

July 30, 1994

How I try to look on social occasions like birthday parties.
How I try to look on social occasions like birthday parties.

I don’t need a personality test to tell me I’m a classic introvert. Reserved, reflective, check. Prefer observation to participation, check.  Exhausted by too much social stimulation, check.

How I really feel after too much socialization.
How I really feel after too much socialization.

However, for a brief spell in my thirties, I passed as an extrovert. John and I threw outrageous parties and paid heavenly bills. Instead of waiting for invitations, I had to send them.  I had to place calls (and risk having them not returned!) instead of waiting for people to call me. Hardest of all, I had to feign interest in other people’s lives instead of thinking about me, me, me all the time. It didn’t come naturally, that’s for sure.

David Schnorr (?), Dianne Simon (?), Dale, Michael Elias, J, Debbie Blum, Laraine Mestman (I'm taking the photo)
David Schnorr (?), Dianne Simon (?), Dale, Michael Elias, J, Debbie Blum, Laraine Mestman (I’m taking the photo)

Amazingly, 27 years ago, we made it to a birthday party in South Pasadena and a dinner party in Beverly Hills and had a fine time at both! Today, either one of those events would exhaust my reservoir of sociability for a week. I need my time alone to wonder what you think about me.

David Schnorr & Dianne Simon (?), me, J, Debbie Blum, Dale, Laraine Mestman (Elias behind camera)
David Schnorr & Dianne Simon (?), me, J, Debbie Blum, Dale, Laraine Mestman (Elias behind camera)

I suspect even extroverts socialize less as they age, despite theoretically having more time. A couple of F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes suggest depressing reasons why.

F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald

It is in the thirties

For most men and women

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beneath his party-boy facade, he must’ve been an introvert.

January 4, 1986

 

january-4-1986

I have no photos from the party, alas, so I'm using photos of the people mentioned in the blog taken (I think) in 1986. From l to r, John, Janet, myself, Joyce Salter
I have no photos from the party, alas, so I’m using photos of the people mentioned in the blog taken (I think) in 1986. From l to r, John, Janet, myself, Joyce Salter

I love Art Everett’s observation about how some humans maintain their cock-eyed optimism in the face of certain disappointment. There are plenty of people at the other end of the spectrum – perpetual pessimists – but I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by optimists. I flirted with cynical despair myself in my senior year of high school when I struggled with clinical depression but it’s not my natural inclination. (Senior Year Depression )  If it was, I’d work hard to change as empirical evidence suggests that most people’s happiness meter is set. Basically, we’re about as happy as we expect to be. A sudden windfall or financial disaster might make you go TILT for a moment but your internal happiness meter will reset at its normal level before long. Given this, why not put in a little effort to set that meter as high as possible?

Host and hostess extraordinaire Art and Karen Everett (at our messy Lowell Ave house, not their sleek chic Thousand Oaks pad). The party referenced in diary took place somewhere else entirely - no photos as far as I know. .
Host and hostess extraordinaire Art and Karen Everett (at our messy Lowell Ave house, not their sleek chic Thousand Oaks pad). The party referenced in diary took place somewhere else entirely – no photos as far as I know. .

What can I say about that mortifying pratfall? Admittedly thin-skinned and over-sensitive about looking stupid, it bothers me more than it should when people laugh at me.  Consequently, I rarely tell stories in which I’m a complete buffoon. This pratfall was hard to forget. Years later, whenever I ran into Tony, Laraine or Debbie, we’d laugh about the day I totaled their plant with my fat pregnant butt. On the bright side, I never backed up without an eye to the rear-view mirror again.

Terry McDonnell and John Salter at a mystery party around the same time
Terry McDonnell and John Salter at a mystery party around the same time

I am so embarrassed!
I am so embarrassed!

[1] As you may have surmised, when attending a reject gift party each couple brings a newly-wrapped hideous present someone else once gave to them. Hilarity ensues as guests swap one atrocious gift for another. It’s a really fun party and I highly recommend it.